Nope, nothing vaguely sexual here.

Packy&Marlon(SNES)
Raya Systems and A Medical Supply Company With Cash To Burn
The Short Version: The other SNES game for diabetics. Yep.
The Long Version: Pull up the splatter sheet.

Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor (NDS)
2009 Atlus
The Short Version: It’s a comfy patchwork quilt, made of Pokemon, Tactics, The World Ends With You, and stuffed full of nice, fluffy LUCIFER
The Long Version:

Metal Slug 7 (NDS)
2008 SNK Playmore/Ignition
The Short Version: Hey look. It’s a new Metal Slug game. I wonder if you get to shoot droves of dopey looking soldiers, save hostages, then fight a gigantic contraption at the end of every level? It would sure be great if they could work some kind of a dating [...]

REPO! The Genetic Opera
2008/2009 Lion’s Gate Pictures
The Short Version: In a dystopian future, GeneCo saves the lives of millions by creating financing plans for organ transplants, then encouraging people to undergo painful elective surgery that hooks them on a crazy futuristic painkiller- then turns around and has it made legal for masked assassins to perform [...]

Just to let you know, I’m still alive here, even though not updating in over a week kind of breaks down to a three month coma in INTERNET TIME.

Rollergames (NES)
1990 Konami
The Short Version: Unfun at any speed.
The Long Version: